Mrs. Bybee, Please Forgive Me

My mother just called and told me she just had a nice conversation with my high school English teacher and told her about this blog.  Eeeek!

I'm understandably nervous.  This is the English teacher that is responsible for introducing me to three of my favorite books:  The Giver, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Alas, Babylon.  She also taught me about voice, cutting out the dead wood, and about having three controlling ideas in any thesis statement. She was my favorite high school teacher and I am going to be single-handedly responsible for putting her in her grave.

Why? 

She is going to die when she reads my reviews.  She's going to see that I, still, have, a, comma, complex.  I fragment.  I frequently use split infinitives. I generally ignore all the rules of basic grammar.  For shame.  For shame.  For shame.

Please forgive me Mrs. Bybee.  It's not because I didn't listen.  It's not because I've forgotten.  It's because I....Error: 596lxhe...just can't type...aughgh......................................