3 Keys To Connecting With Teenagers - Surviving Adolescence

Anyone who has the privilege of mixing with teenagers, whether as a parent or teacher, will realize that it can be challenging. As a high school teacher with over 30 years experience and the father of four children who were all teenagers in the same year, I know something about this.
We tend to give teenagers a lot of advice but what they really need from the authority figures in their lives is more like coaching in the form of

• affirmation,
• encouragement and
• unconditional love.

This is not to say that, as a teacher in the classroom faced with a rebellious, unruly mob or a parent about ground their offspring for the term of their natural life, discipline is out of the question - it just has to be administered in an affirming, encouraging and loving way.
If your natural demeanor is to be fair, prepared to listen, kind and compassionate, then the discipline is accepted more gracefully. One student, for example, shook my hand at the end of a lesson during which I had disciplined him. You'll even find that some potential confrontations just won't happen.
I wasn't always a positive teacher - a Christian teacher yes, but I didn't always apply Christian principles to my day to day teaching style. When I did and applied the three principles mentioned, the results were amazing.
We all need to be affirmed but this is particularly true of those in their adolescent years when it's all hormones, turmoil, having friends (losing friends) and being cool. Throw in a few assignments due next week and keeping their room tidy (easier for the naturally meticulous teens but almost impossible for others) and it all gets a bit much at times.
Affirming teenagers is giving an honest appraisal of their innate worth and abilities. All of us are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image. Everyone has unique talents and abilities.
Some talents and abilities are more obvious than others - a great singer or academic, for example - but everyone is gifted in some way. Take every opportunity to build your teenagers up. One time, after congratulating one student for a sensational performance in a school singing contest, another student asked, "Was I sensational too?" I assured her that she was and I could tell from her smile that she believed it.
At the school where I last worked a student told me after I had described her work as amazing that they all appreciated any encouragement they received. Each student had a diary not just for recording important events and homework but it also had a section where teachers could write good comments (merits) and bad comments (demerits). Although there was only one line allocated for each merit, I got into the habit of writing several lines for each one which included words like "brilliant", "amazing", "the best" and "sensational."